Some difficult times….

The balcony....
Dancing in the sun...
infamous balcony

….the ones I m living at the moment. But I seem to be managing quiet well, trying not to get over stressed (though sometimes this seems imposible). I made a list of priorities, and I'm head on.

In the past few weeks I have a new carer ,which I may be loosing if the liberal democrats in Camden have their way.I have an assesment on saturday, don't even want to think too much about it, as the one and only reason I have been able to get on with the getting back to work thing is the fat that I have the Direct Payments for the caring.

I wanna buy a dishwasher… don't wanna know how expensive it is to have a small kitchen, I need to sort out the car thing, as my contract finishes in august, so I should be thinking about which car, sorting out documents, and…the car isnt in the best of nicks, and the list goes on, and on

and on,

and on.

Not having family near by doesnt help. The fact that most people are too wraped up in their own lives doesnt help either, most of my friends (the kind who would make an effort for us) live very far from the UK. The fact that I havent been able to contact the people who are dealing with my stuff in Brazil doesnt help either, my health being another issue. I m trying to keep a smile anyway, I had some sleepless nights (quiet a few) and have been taking far more sleeping pills to my liking, but there are moments that make up for all of the above… last night (or early this morning, about 4am)

I couldn't sleep. I tried reading, couldnt concentrate. Switched onto studying the HighWay Code (I wanna change my license for a Brit one, so I'm learning about all the things people should do(but dont) to take a test). I couldn't concentrate on that either, though I'm taking the whole thing seriously and improoving steadily, so, as last week we had a great chat for over 90 minutes, I decided to call my parents.

You see, it cost me 2p a minute to call SouthAmerica, whlist it cost 3p a minute to make a local call, so, no exesses here. My mum picked up the phone. We ended up in a bit of an argument, my mother (though I love her to bits) has this *victim syndrome* thing, and I elegantly said it was late and I was going to sleep. It was, after all 4am.

In the way to the loo, I find Sarita rubbing eyes: Eu acordei quando ouvi vc brigando com a abuelita…. (I woke up when I heard you arguing with granny). We had a laugh, went to my bedroom, lay down, had a bit more of a laugh (all at my mum's expense, she is a funny old dear, my mum) and ended up singing Beatles songs, which Sarita has very recently discovered when I recovered my old PC's files….. (that's another thing…we had that PC stopped for almost a year, thinking we needed a keyboard, that Sarita didn't download the software, and here comes Cheeky and tells us the mouse and keyboard (cordless) had no batteries….)

We went through the Twist & Shout, Love me Do, I wanna Hold your Hand, stopping with delight to sing again n again In My Life (piano solo included) & When I'm 64, and finished with Penny Lane & I Will. We laughed. And this, as I was saying, is worth all the suffering, stress and worrying that life brings me in every corner. I have a friend in my child, what else can a mother want?

She didn't go to school (but of course). We went back to sleep for a while, had breakfast/lunch (choose apropiate for you, it was 11:30am) in bed, stayed there as I was in a lot of pain to sit up, and then got ready for Portuguese class. I drove her, then (in order to save physical energy, pain and petrol) rung Bettty (who lives around the corner from the school, the twins's mum) and she came down (as I cant go up the stairs to hers in days like this). We sat in the car chatting for the entire duration of Sarita's Portuguese class (2 and half hours).

There s some story with Celia and Portuguese Lauren, but not important enough, unless you are ME, and think that the following event took place because of them…….I am a believer of the evil eye, you see, being my mother's daughter and all that.

Sarita fell of the balcony. A bad fall, though not as bad as it could have been. It taught her a lesson, I think (I ve been insisting on them not standing on said balcony, and she was there today when she should have not been…) but my heart breaks and wheeps when she cries….and it was a bad scare. She cut her hand, scratched her back, hurt her leg (which it is black n blue under her right knee) and the worse was that she banged her lower back (or her bum…) and couldnt sit properly. But, Thank God, The Forces Who Rule The Universe, WhateverYouWannaCallIt, she is ok. No need to rush to A&E, just lots of crying, shivering, I'm sorry Mum, I'll never go there again, huggzz, kisses, reasuring, a bit of Nurofem, and (unavoidable) Disney Channel…. 🙂

I realise I have written an awfull lot. It's only a fraction of what I would like to be pouring in these pages, I missed so much coming here when we had no net.

Now my body starts giving me the signals, and I still got a lot of studying to do.

Faz parte do meu show, como ja diz o Cazuza, sofrimento faz parte, mas tem tambem muita, muita felicidade se a gente tem fe….. :) 


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About thelatinmrspeel

in the process of moving blogs, so more will come later
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