***…….When you good nights have been said
And you are lying in bed
With the covers pulled up tight
And though you count every sheep
You get the feeling that sleep
Is going to stay away tonight. …… ****
I have been having enormous trouble sleeping (or trying to go to sleep, I should say). I'm so stressed about the whole financial thing and this tomorrow interview, and worse of all, every time I grabb everything and think I have it all under control in my mind (that old thing of if the problem has a solution, why worry, and, it it hasn't, why worry?….) ….
Something horrific happens to me again.
My right leg (yes, the replaced one, the one which should be pain free) hurts like mad, and I'm not overdoing it, I'm trying just to have a life, go back to work, organize myself (I havent even started the job…).
The taxi card hasnt arrived. The top up thing card hasnt arrived. I ve got a traffic fine (£50 if I pay this week, £100 if after). I got a totally, completely flat tyre ,AC Motability are great, not even 20 minutes within the time I call them and the guy saying goodbye and the spare in wheel, but I had to walk in two crutches to the surgery to have my blood tests done, it was too late to go in take the wheel chair when I saw it this morning, and, as if it wasn't enough, the tyre place was closed when I arrived, so, tomorrow…minimum £40 quid….
Changing my driving license to a Brit one will be a modical £50, and I have to do the test. I had to call my bloody sister in law (who has not bothered to call us in 3 months, after we spent from 10:30 am till 5:30 pm in her house and she did not offer not even a piece of toast, just lots of cups o tea) in order to be able to go see the car I would like to take out when the contract for this one runs out. My soul is crying of indignity.
I'm almost saying goodbye to the dishwasher, I still havent managed to buy another mobile.
I'm tired, nervous, perimenopausal, grumpy, in a lot of pain and unable to sleep.
I know there are a lot of people in terribly worse situations than mine. Right now, I just wanna cry (and sleep)