Commitment…..

…is something I dont like to compromise on these days, I know, it sounds redundant, maybe senseless, to compromise on commitment, isnt it all the same? Whatever the semantics, the reason I m jogging with words is that I have just made some commitment by signing into a group ,but somehow it did not feel like a commitment, as I feel somehow honoured by having been invited to join.

I do not need prompting to be gratefull for stuff in life, if you have read a bit of me, I'm sure you would know. You, Sarita, know coz mamichula keeps telling you all the time how blessed we are to have each other and all the people & things we have in life…… and yesterday when I saw 3 of my fav women in Vox posting about being gratefull, I did not realised it was following a group or an especific post…. still, I thought I put my twopence.

And if I had started to write when we got back (from a very tiring excursion into Tesco's in the North Circular, dont ask), £74.98 down, in acute pain in my left side of my lower back (the same stuff I had after the 14 hr plane tripp to Brazil in december, the pain that took three long months to leave my body….)  in addition to my normal every day pains, if I had started then….ermm… I m not sure I would've been joining the group, I prolly would've shut the PC down and started crying…… but (there s allways a but…)

….. as everything has it's timing, of course I didnt, I did not turn the PC then, I made dinner instead, ate almost lying down in my recliner armchair, moaning and whinging, asking Sarita what I should do - my baby, you do know mami only complaints when it does get very bad….  and then took more pain killers which mami knows she shouldnt after only 4hs from the last , and watched Dazliel & Pascoe (which never ceases to capture me) , and then put the dishwasher to work….. as these all happened in tune, I did. (join the group)

So, first of all, I am gratefull for having been invited to the Simple Abundance, for this will call my attention whenever I'm grumpy….

Second, I am gratefull coz this group brings me even closer to some people I have come to feel as my family, though we are very far away, for I'm gratefull to know them, and gratefull that they give me their time and their words, which have never failed, in these last few weeks, to make my difficult world a lot, lot easier and happy, coz they make me smile and cry tears of joy….

Third I am gratefull for my sister in law, Liz, who, despite all the differences and fights and horrible situations we have been put through coz of her brother, she still gives me her love in her very peculiar (well, British) way, and she has helped me these past couple of months with each and everything I have asked, and if she didnt remember a couple of weeks ago that I had to take the car for the MOT (I completely forgot)… I would've been in trouble.

Fourth I am gratefull for medication, truly, madly, deeply gratefull for Tramadol (or I would not be here telling the tale for my child, or anyone who wants to listen (or read) )

Fifth, I'm gonna shout from the roof tops that I'm gratefull for technology, specifically for my new dishwasher, I have to say….I am deeply impressed. I would normally grab my cups n mugs and spray them with bleach and leave them till the bleach dissolved the coffee, tea n milk stains, even the herbal teas stain badly, the pasta sieve would need scrubbing, the pans would need carefull attention…..well… my lil Hotpoint:  I load well, you load today, my baby, and mami is so proud of you wanting to learn things and doing everything so well 🙂 , I sit, I watch TV, I turn the PC on, I get some very nice mail from a girl I havent seen for over 3 years and everyone has told me she is looking for me….

….and then I open. Pronto. No stains. No grease. No dirt. No starch = Gratefullness ouzing (pouring prolly better for the English language) from my every pore.

Some may think this is trivial, but I am totally, 100% sure that there are many people here who know how I feel, as I know I am not alone in my pain, as I am not alone in gratefullness, being blessed.

So there, 5 things for which I am gratefull today, and I am sure I will be gratefull tomorrow and the day after 🙂

Sometimes (and this isnt a new thing, it has been a bit like this all my life) I feel a bit scared to  talk about it when I feel happy coz of the things of the daily life…..as sometimes it seemed that the sole fact of talking about it brings something to destroy it….my mother would call it to be aware of the *Evil Eye *…. I kinda think…how on earth can be anyone jelous of the constant fight and struggle I go in life?  I am here trying to overcome that lil fear that creeps around my shoulder when I feel like this…..(so I hope I wont get another parking fine tomorrow or some ll go wrong with my *Precious* (dishwasher!) :)P

No, seriously. I have to say that I have been feeling gratefull to Vox. I know it may sound cheesey. I am not new to the net world. Been into it heads (and full body) on. Then I got disapointed. Very much. After that, after my surgeries failing, my need to write a Will before I went into theatre, for my daughter, I tried to find my peace with the net as it would be the only way to leave something for Sarita. I tried many sites (like 8, a lot for me),nothing could hold me to come back. Until I came here to Vox.

So, I would like to let all the people who make Vox that I am gratefull big time. As for me this has been a rope to sanity, a lot more than  just writing or exchanging files with people. I hope you guys can solve something like parental controls so Sarita doesnt have to wait another 18 months to join….

OK, now I'm gonna get my ( )( ) to bed, otherwise I wont have much to be gratefull tomorrow and it would be purely and solely my own fault. (I'm also planning to go out tomorrow evening, believe it or not!!!! may go to the LOndon Munch, hehehehe)

🙂

(I ve done a spell check, and I had only 7 possible errors, 6 of which were actually wrong and I have now corrected….I m so bloody proud of my Englishhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

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About thelatinmrspeel

in the process of moving blogs, so more will come later
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