…of life isn't where we came from, or what are we here for, or what came first: the chicken or the egg?….. Nope.
The existencial problem is why do we have to learn things this way, when in the daily ordinary life things are actually that way……
I know, it's not very clear, is it?
Oh well, that's my bloody trouble with life, the fact that nothing is clear, everything is a lot of hard work, and some days, like today, I end up crying my head off and wondering what have I done to deserve this….
I am in the process of exchanging my driving license for a British one. The law is so stupid, that they let you drive for a year with your own license, wherever you come from, and then you have to go through the system as if you were a learner driver…… which, first of all, cost a LOT of money, second it's double stupidity to force us to go through the exam, I mean, if we were trustable enough not to kill anyone for a year…..why on earth do we have to go for this exam?
The worse bit is that even the motoring school's instructors tell you : There is real life driving, and then there is the TEST….
and we all know that both are very, very different.
I have the blessing of Motability, which allows me not only to have a car, but also has aprioved hours and hours of driving lessons for free, even though they are more than concious that I can drive, but I said I rather know what I'm doing (as people terrify us with stories about being failed for ridiculous reasons)….
The lady from the AA called last week, asked me when did I want to start, whenever you can send someone, I said. 1st of august, 2pm, she said.
I arranged it all (plus a tantrum I had to throw on the phone to the twit who is supposed to be my carer) but I got a phone call around 12:30….. I already didnt like the voice, the way he addressed me, the way my inner witch was telling me there s something wrong….and then he says: am gonna make it 3 pm, OK? OK, I said, anyway, I'm sure they have explained you, I cannot sit in the car for longer than half hour, longest 45 min….
He called me at 2:20 , I m in your parking lot, he says.
I didnt have lunch, and he parked in the middle of the green, did not bring the car close, even when he saw me walking (at a turtle step) with my crutches. At least he went to pick up my driver's cushion.
I'm not gonna go into much detail, but I ended up telling him to stop talking to me like that, crying and baking in the middle of some very deserted road under the summer sun. He made an attempt to chenge his ways for the first 10 minutes, but some people just cant.
He would ve made a very good cop (as in policeman). Or C&E officer, even an Immigration one. The people who assume some positions of authority and like bossing others around, that kind, he is.
I asked for someone to tell me what my habits of 30 years of driving are, and to explain me exactly what NOT to do in the exam. He was trying to proove me wrong….. but in most of things, he couldnt, you see.
That happen with my cousin Claudia, I reckon. She loved me to bits when I was off my trolley, doing the wrong things in life. Then she could tell me off, correct me and tell me what to do in life. When I changed, had my life kinda sorted….then the relationship strained a bit, nothing you could put the finger on, but I know it was that.
I have no problems with the instructor telling me what I m doing wrong, but I do have a problem with the way in which he was telling me, so not only did I cry, but also told him what I thought.
I came back home after almost 3 hours in the baking sun, feeling horrible, tired, hungry, angry.
I'm almost giving up on the whole thing. At least for today, I wanna forget 'bout all this.