…and again my dear MB…. you are a star.
I have not had time to come and write extensively, lots of things going on right now with my medical care, and then here I come to check on our group…. and hey…. this is great. I will have to come back to read properly, but I am so glad we have done this….(well actually that MB has!!!) I have no problems about writing about my sexuality, but most things are best said to a few, and I have also started this blog for my daughter, so it fell kinda wrong to talk sex unless it had to do with something that was affecting me at the time of writing… so, thanks again to MB.
I hate labels, could never find anything which describes me sexually, as the lesbians would say I'm not one of them, as I dont have problems with sex with men, have fallen in love with 2 or 3 of them in my life (which isnt short, hehe, kicking into my 49th birthday sept 5th!!!) , but I dont feel I am bisexual…. the term is a bit eeky to me, but anyway…lets say that I dont have a description, I worship women, but I am not completely closed up to the idea of guys. You are all welcome to critisize 😉
I have also allways been a bit different than your average girl, maybe coz I didnt walk till aged 5 (that made me fight through life with thurst and hunger, still does), maybe coz I entered the show buzz at the age of 13, was allways round people whose sexuallity was wild, dunno… but I only found out that some of what I did in my sex life had names and a *scene* aat the age of 41.
It was talking in the gay.com *Friendly Visitors* chat room as I have allways been inclined to open minded people, the lezzie scene rejected me all over the world, coz I didnt fit the bill that much, you see, I did not want to wear jeans and checkered shirts, cut my hair very short of wear flat heels…. but I also didnt like that description to have it as a partner either…. I like girls, looking like girls…. that''s me (or at least was, for a long while) …
So I was in the chat room, and there was this girl, Sandy, who kept greeting everyone *Sir* *Ma'am*….. and I asked if she was Texan…. they all laughed. Nope, they said, she isnt Texan, she is Lupe's slave……
Slave? C'mon…. I know bout slavery, Brazil was the last country in the world to abolish slavery, and that was in 1888!!!!
No darling, slave as in SandM, you know, Submission, Bondage, all that?
Ahhhhh …there you go….and here was me, years and years thinking that was kind of elite gay male scene thing….
So I talked to Lupe, the Domme. And she asked me if I thought I would like their lifestyle…..
To be honest, I have been doing this all my life, one way or another….
And then started my road to the net life, which, me being me, led me to the munches, clubs, tripps, in not so many words, a life on the London Fetish Scene. I had a very intense one, of which I may be writing in the future. I do rarely now attend events, not only coz of my health in the last 4 years, but also coz I got sick and tired of a lot of hypocresy and superficiality in the scene, though I do not blame that on it being the fetish scene, all human relatively closed groups have that…it's only (though saddly) human after all.
But I do enjoy the spiced up sex life. Very much so. I have also, all my life, been the dominant part of my relationships, but cant say that it has been as well defined as MB's D/s relationship (btw, kudos to you, girl!)…. though not necesarily including the inflicting pain thing…. and I hope MB and I could enlighten you girls if in doubt of anything…. the Fetish, BDSM, Bondage, WoteverYouWannaCallIT, Kinky World is very vest, including an enormous varirty of *things, or *preferences* which can go from people who only enjoy dressing up in rubber, or leather, or both, to people who can only get pleasure when being phisically in pain….. but there is a lot, lot more in between.
So, I enjoy kink. But it isnt a must. If I have learned something in my (again, not so short) life is that we changed, constantly, we are allways learning. From others, from society, from life itself. And it is important to be aware of the changes, in order to be able to enjoy…..
So there, that's me. A latin intense 48 (almost 49!!!) years old girl, (I feel weird if I call myself woman) young in mind, first of all a Mother to my child, then the girl seeking enjoyment of life. I do not consider myself beautifull, but I kinda know I am not ugly, I feel very sexy when I want, I can be a total wreck if you get me without or out of pils time…. the secret for me is in wanting…..and right now I'm not sure I want anything sexual in my life…..maybe to do with my condition, pain and all that.
But I'm so glad MB started this…. I havent fell comfy anywhere but in Vox lately, so this is brilliant. Honest, WoolfyGirrrlll, you are a star… ;) I hope R recognises what a jewel she has in her possesion 🙂 (I'm sure she does, otherwise you wouldn't be the girl you are!)
I will leave you with something I watched today, something(and someone with which/whom I was in love a few years back (prolly 2002), though the video is anything but erotic (very sad actually, but I think the best of hers), it had me night after night fantazising wild sex….
(though I'm unsure if this will come up, I didnt know what to click in order to make it private here…)