Crying of happiness…..

…has turned into a common occurrence in this life of mine.

I suppose I should feel happy because it's tears of joy am shedding and not those of frustration that so tortured me a couple of years ago. And this may sound common too, or even taki, ordinary but, I feel like I've come a long way.
I'm growing, learning.
And one of the desicions  that most cost me to make and put into practice has taught me big time too.
In 2005 I decided to turn into a bit of a recluse. I stopped going out, not only within the kinky gang or the London Lezzie brigade, but just stopped, plain stop having a social life.
I knew a couple of things then:
One was that Sarita needed some special attention, and the other that I wasn't getting any pleasure of having a social life, something had to change, and it was NOT within people who constantly label life and write new Bibles that I was going to achieve the kind of change that would be positive in my new acquired status of disabled person.
My reclusion also reached the online life: I stopped visiting each and every site I belonged, change my email addy, and only gave attention to an amateur photo site, Fotothing.
Of the past three years one of the biggest influences in my *socializing* again has been Vox, then Scrapblog.
But, see, I'm not one to make endless *electronic* friendships…. despite all the good that has come out of my online friends, my enjoyment of the human race is best when in the flesh and blood (preferably with a pulsing heart)
So, why is it that I keep immersing myself in sites where 90% of the brilliant people are North Americans, Canadian, Australian? Is my daughter right? should we move to the US?
I thought about this once or twice, but discarded the idea for reasons I'm sure don't need a written explanation here (I can hardly afford to become a British national…..imagine start all over again to get a Green Card!!!)
So I kept looking. I joined the UK Voxers, the Londoners Online, all groups which could have something in store, the creme de la creme of the Brit talent…..
Funnily enough, it wasn't in any of those groups that I found her.
There was Iliask, this bright, inteligent boy in Greece who left me speechless with so much wisdom for one so young, so I kept checking his blog. Then one day, there she was. This Greek Girl.
She is sharp,intelligent, well read, brilliant writer, furhermore: she is strong enough to admit her overloaded guilt, and he is about to marry a Jewish boy…. what a recipe, what a delight. And she is in London.
Though I'm not very inclined on giving *advice*, one day she asks for it, straight forward: *What do you people think about this* she said……
I wrote a word (well, yes, 10000, you know I don't do things by half!)
And then it started a beautiful communication between 2 different generations that, at points, seem to come together in one and same….
And then one day I find that she has given me a Brilliance Award for my blog, and posted something, there it was, my name, my blog, amongst these amazingly gifted writers, all these people who make a hell of a difference in this world…there I was, little me and my adventures with my baby Sarita…
It may seem silly to you, but at that time I was feeling a bit low, especially having trouble writing: this Good Greek Girl gave me the push I so much needed that night. It was a great thing, it brought huge positive change to my life.
I started feeling for this Greek Girl like if she was part of my family, a niece or a cousin…
We talked about getting a coffee.
And then one of her last posts gave an indication of a very particular nuance of her fiance's character: 
I HAD to meet her.
So we organized it.
From the minute they arrived to the minute they left, delight is a small word to describe the feeling these two brought into our lives.
People like them give me strong hope for (and excuse me if I'm being a bit selfish here) my daughter's future.
Being able to enjoy an evening like that is something joyful.
When they left, from the minute they crossed the door and for another 40 minutes, Sarita's song: 
*He is so hilarious!!!!they are sooooooo COOL!!!! they'll have a great marriage!!! they'll make great babies!!!*

she is a good judge of character, my daughter, that I know. She rarely gets it wrong with people.
I spent an hour or so filling the dishwasher, listening to Wicked and singing along, tidying up the kitchen. Then a full on day yesterday. Today, finally, I got to turn the Mac on and try to write in bed. Here I am, late again, as I had to take a sleeping tablet last night after physical pain took over because of so much driving and running around yesterday….but good thing, I had the luxury of being able to stay in bed all day.
Sarita went to her friend across the road, they went to the Chinese take away and brought me food, made me cups of tea….good, relaxing day. Then I come to Vox.
Then I read this post…..
Something similar to the day with the blog award invaded me.
And yes, I cried.
I cry a lot these days, mostly on emotional happiness, Thank God.
The words she wrote had an advance on the text I got the morning after, but all these together, on *paper* for all to see….it means a lot to me. Not only because it is so important that I confirm I am doing a good job on my parenting, but also because these are two people I respect and admire, and being able to give people like them a moment to relax is gold to me.
So, Alex & Ashley, Thank You, big time.
For the visit, for these words.
And remember Auntie Cynth's doors are open, any time ๐Ÿ™‚
PS: Sarita said she apologize for not having made the pancakes, she was very tired, but, as you are *so cool*, you ll have to come one day again and this time, she promises! ๐Ÿ™‚







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About thelatinmrspeel

in the process of moving blogs, so more will come later
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