Sleep depravation….

… use to equal pain for me. 

Not anymore, thanks to the beautiful people who create iMac computers. 
We moved it from where initially was, and it is now in a position which allows me to work in bed. Lots of pillows in my back, one huge furry one as the desktop (this one would fit a Ken Russell movie, I ll post pictures later…), and the screen comes down to the slide out bit of the desk, so it is so very near me, I feel in a home cinema.
The Mac system isn't as evil as PC users make it to be. I had countless friends and acquaintances scaring me on the point that Mac isn't compatible with most programs… well…I don't see it.
Safari is used exactly the same way as explorer or Firefox, just little bits and pieces which, thanks to Sarita's eagle eye and intelligence when really needed, I'm sorting with a book she spotted at the local library: Mac OS X Leopard, portable genius, by Dwight Spivey.
I'm not sure what we have is Leopard actually, but the general system contents fits, though for someone like me it takes more than one reading to *get* it, I sorted one of the things that was bugging me, as to how to open a link in a new tab. It takes just a bit of concentration to get rid of the Windows habits, and I'm way far from mastering this computer….but, as I was saying, programs are not a problem at all, if anything, Mac simplifies life in general: I did not have to download a program for each of our digital cameras, we don't need to get speakers or lots of USBs cables and earphones for Skype (which knew as soon as I entered the site which system I was using!) , and I have a CD of Adobe Photoshop Elements 2 for Windows AND Mac (thank you, Wokka, you may nlt be in our lives any longer, but have certainly left a huge legacy in tutorials and software!) , just a question of remembering to bring it to my bedroom and download it.
I took sometime last night, as we had some TV watching to do (Sarita is watching the bochornous, poor quality British try to emulate High School Musical, Brittania High, and we can't miss the new series of House and Laws & Orders…!)
Sat at the Pc in the living room, and started investigating ways to make space there, so Sarita can go into her dress up dollies sites and, most important of all: msn messenger.
I refuse to install messenger in the iMac.
On investigating and cleaning, moving and deleting, organizing and defragmenting, I realized how far I have come into this technology thing.
I know women my age who hardly want to go near a mobile phone, let alone a computer, and here I am, almost self taught, 10 years after my first experience with one machine…. got the PC to work almost like a year or so ago (before the spyware invasion and the Nikon D40) and still have all my precious photos and music.
Not only that, A couple of weeks ago, before Halloween, I gave Gary (next door marvelous neighbor) our old-old PC, a Packard Bell on Windows 2000, the one we bought in 2001 when coming back to the country, which was full of precious music files (all my old Brazilian music and pretty much everything I loved in my …errmm… youth? well, you know what I mean: the over 1000 files from when I discovered and fell in love with Kazaa Lite.
There were also the scanned photos from before digital, my first photos with the Kodak Easy Share, all went to live comfortably in our external hard drive which, even after all these files moving, still has 96% space available.
So: life isn't treating me all that bad.
As I was writing  just now a thought came to mind…. am I describing facts, or trying to give myself an incentive?
And I don't really think it matters that much.
It has been on analyzing things like these that I came afloat a depression of my life having lost the quality it use to have,the frustration and anger at not finding the way out, not having my family and life time friends physically closer, it has been this kind of crystal that gave me back my (reasonable) sanity and allows me to give my precious child the quality of life she deserves….
The glass half full
The cloud and it's silver lining
No hay mal que por bien no venga…
Nao adianta chorar encima do leite derramado.
So,
if I'm writing for description of facts or simply to make myself aware of all the good that is going on to distract the mind from the lack of money or the many dis-functions my body is acquiring day by day..I honestly don't care.
The lack of money is so global that I hardly need to explain myself in this one, but even in that one there is the good side: I have taught Sarita to like most things, and we take pleasure of creating new food from whatever we have left and, after all, though most of the money was presents and I had some discount in store thanks to my friend Clare, we did pay for the iMac….
On the physical side of things it gets a bit tougher: 
I had to accept that there are days in which I cannot get dressed on my own, that I cannot have a shower or bath if no other person is in the house, because of the falls (and I do have a shower seat), that driving to Birmingham and back on a sunday to attend the BBB….
is not an option any longer, my legs would barely take the ride to Whaltamstow…. I had to accommodate in my mind a concept which I wasn't, and think I ll never be accustomed with: life without a proper job…
.. but even this I have found a positive side for: would Sarita be who she is if things went differently?
would I have time as much as I have now to be there, to actually be able to enjoy the High School Musical, Cheetah Girls and Hannah Montanas of life if I did go back to a full time, consuming job?
So, I could be here forever, as I'm comfy and snuggled up under the duvet, surrounded by furry cushions, but I reckon I ll stop here.
In a message I sent to Alex the other day I was saying how I recently discovered what my most horrendous problem is when writing for others to read: I do know what I want to say, I have an idea, but, in the process of trying to be descriptive and making people who may have not knowled

ge of the background…. I wonder away of the idea, nd up forgetting or not having much energy left to finish typing…
And here enters another concept I remind myself of constantly: Vox, though has given me some beautiful, talented, geniuses of friends, is where I choose to write for my child.
The most important thing then is that she will remember these times the way I'm feeling them now.
Did I say what I came to say?
Probably, yes, today.
Now I need some food!!!
Our First iMac

more iMac stuff coming soon!!!!!!

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About thelatinmrspeel

in the process of moving blogs, so more will come later
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