Trying hard….

… very hard, to get my life in order.

As a matter of fact, I have been doing a bit of writing but keeping it to myself, so much confusion (or should I say rambling?) that I don't think it would make sense to anyone but little me.
The constant at this point would be my arguments with Sarita because of the chores not done, teeth not clean, showers not taken, you know, down to earth teenage stuff.
Nothing last long, of course, and we end up having a laugh together, but, though I keep telling all who wanna hear (and some who probably don't) that I know I'm blessed with beautiful child who is way better than the other girls her age I see in this country, at times I feel murderous… or suicidal.
I say things I may regret later, not often, but they were said in a couple of occasions.
We both know and have as a rule the not going to bed without making peace, and she cannot do without her *tickles* (I pray that she'll get a very kind, lovable buy in the future as a boyfriend, as this sweet daughter of mine can't go to sleep unless I stroke her side. This is a very precise exercise, she lays on her side, arms up a la Duncan, and I stroke her side until she falls asleep….)
Then there was my impossibility to find suitable help, which after many sufferings was sorted in the shape of two gorgeous girls, and the  what?
This on it's own can take pages and pages.
Not right now though.
There is so much I have to do.
Renew my passport, most important.
Brace myself to my energy bills.
Solve the bankruptcy thing, someone tells me one can get some funding from the government to do it, and so very well should be, they go giving their money to the people who already have it…. public funds to bankers?
who understands this world, where teachers and nurses are badly paid and a footballer is a millionaire, or, maybe a better example would be the richness of Brittney Spears? but no, wait, that is the US weapon of mass destruction, as Mrs Volonakis Davis well proved.
Sort the zillions of printed photographs into albums, the albums we just got from some fellow Freecyclers…
I don't know how I survived before knowing about this web site.
There are 3 groups around us and so far we have gotten lots of brilliant albums for photographs, some leather bound, big neough to do scrapbooks, floating shelves, an antenna for the bedroom TV, a Marvelous recycling bin, 3 compartments, lots of music tapes….
We have given our fair share. Still, I see people giving away things which I will wait until the summer and then sell…I'm not in a position to give away a wireless router, even if I only get a fiver for it.
With that thought comes the on that I have to sort our shed out, bit difficult with us being all snowed up, so I take that out of my mind.
Some stuff did get done though.
I got my Photoshop Elements 6 for the Mac and, though I'm thoroughly p**d off that I cannot, for some strange reason, use any of the filters, it has solved my main problem.
One piece of jolly good news is that Sarita has got into reading now and, yes, I couldn't believe it but it's true, she is reading Jane Eyre and loving it. A strong wave of parental pride swept me last night when, after she found the BBC series on demand TV (though we have ordered the DVD via public library) she came indignant to tell me that 

ahhh but the book is so, so SO much better, mae! they missed whole chunks in this movie!!!!!! it looses all the best!!!
and she then proceeded to tell me exactly, word by word, was missing in the series.
I, needles to say, listened to this with the best of smiles, though I had to pretend remembering every little detail (which my old tired brain doesn't)
So, life has not brought many surprises, I'm still a moody cow,my sleep patterns are horrendous despite of the good efforts of my Pain Management team physio who is a young kid who cannot get out of her text book and see the real life impossibilities, my menopause refuses to settle (which by now I'm not sure if I'm happy or not about it), I go from happiness to anger in a split of a second still wondering if it has to do with meds or is just life… but one big constant achievement is still with me: the Simple Abundance….so, all things considering, not that bad.
Of course there is a lot more that I can't squeeze right now, a my eyes are closing and I'm afraid I'll crash on the keyboard, but one of the things on priority in my list is that I need to get back to the constant of keeping this record.
So, I'll try, as a hard as I can.

I know I don't need to comment on the fact that London (well, the UK) had the heaviest snow fall in 18 years, the loss in so many areas, over 3000 schools closed for 2 days, impossibility to get out, buses completely stopped, £1. something million gone….
but that the picture is beautiful, that nobody can deny.
It cleared after a couple of days but, as I type, I can see the white carpet has formed again outside…

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About thelatinmrspeel

in the process of moving blogs, so more will come later
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