..is that of guiding your child into adolescence and subsequently into a good, honest and trouble free adult life.
the way I try my best?
Remembering how I was (not an easy child, more like wild) and what my parents did, what worked and what didn't and, up until now, things seem to be running smoothly.
An hour and a half ago I received a telephone call from Boots, to notify me that my child was caught shoplifting.
They say they will send a letter, we ll have to pay a fine (which the guy couldn't tell me of how much) and that she would (of course) be banned from the store.
She was with one of our neighbors, a kid I know to be reasonably good,three years older than Sarita, but I know this is not the other girl's doing.
I have seen Sarita taking stuff from the supermarket, well, she has shown me after we left, in the car, and I have had long chats with her about these kind of stuff…specifically telling her NOT to do this in Oxford Street, as these days the answer to everything is:
everybody does it, mu u mmmm!
like one isn't part of the *everybody*?
I do not steal.
I may have done some stronger stuff in my youth, was promiscuously sexual (in an AIDS/HIV free era, but still), done all kinds of substances, even sold some at some point, politically active in what they called *terrorist* groups, and much more. You name it, I've done it.
But I do remember what my dad told us when the thing about me being with a woman came up, because the woman I was with had broken into another girl's ex's boyfriend's home (yeah, complicated, I know) and there was something missing, a stereo or something like that.
MY father took me aside and said, first, to imagine if my mum was the one to pick up the phone instead of him, and that, if I wanted to do my life with a woman, do go for it, but to do it well, to chose well, and stealing was not what they had taught us, was unacceptable.
Though I wasn't the one stealing, that deeply went into my soul, and to this day I cannot even eat a piece of fruit in a supermarket without feeling the urge to pay for it, even if there is no evidence at all…..
I could say I'm ashamed of having gotten this phone call, but that is not the feeling.
Angry because she did not hear me.
Angry because she was shopping without me purely and solely because I am not well, it's raining and we cannot park in Oxford Street, I couldn't go.
If she was with me this would not have happened.
But then again: I cannot be with her all the time now, can I?
How to get stuff through her mind and be able to sleep tight?
I called my Spanish neighbor, who has 5 kids and I knew, she told me, a while ago, her eldest daughter was caught, same at Oxford St, in the same way, only a different store (both same type of store though, the other girl was Superdrug, Sarita in Boots, they like their make up, these girls, I can tell)
I asked her what punishment did she give her, and she said the girl has not been allowed to go out since.
I am going to have to be very string in this one, as Sarita knows well how to wrap me around her little finger when punishments are the issue, but I need to do this.
She will probably hate me as she lives lately for this saturdays outings, but there is no choice.
We ll be traveling soon, and I will make my main priority to find her classes and stuff to keep busy when we come back….this would most definitely NOT have happened if she was hanging out with the Performing Arts classes kids, or if she was doing dance, instruments and singing classes, like she was until a bit over a year ago…
(mind you, did Wynnona Ryder not get caught for shoplifting?)
but one thing I need is to get my finances sorted and go back to give my child a busy life in the intelligent education department. I'm wrecked right now. MY blood pressure went up and my eye is popping in and out of the socket and I have smoked 2 cigarettes in 10 minutes.
That's the main reason why I came to write, because if I'm typing I cant smoke.
And I thought I was doing so well…..