I so know about this word. Especially in the past three years, when my legs (and whole body) seems to shut down and tend to stay that way. But hey, I still can change that.
We have builders all around us. We have dust all around us. We have noise, very loud, drilling, hunting, loud noise. All around us. I did cloth the whole house when I thought (why?) that they were finished. The day after it was all around us, again.
So, you see, the inercia principal was with us for almost two weeks now.
What is horizontal tends to stay horizontal.
Last night I had a dream, couldnt remember what when I woke up, but the message was so clear, I just gave my time to wake up (which, as the inercia prevails, wasnt before 10:55 am) , had coffee, munched on sunflower seeds (one day I ll stop smoking), stood up…oh wonder, I was vertical and had, not only energy for the cleanse long due, but also ideas for quick, healthy lunch. I love my mum, I so love her, Thank You, mama, for teaching me to cook everything possible by the age of 8…. 🙂
So you see,the answer of my physical abilities is in *dosage*
Shame the dosification is such that I need 3 or 4 days in bed to be able to do 2 or 3 hours work, which will be followed by, at least 16 hours (again) horizontal…..
Never mind, never mind. It all looks so bright and ahhhhhh …… Sarita is happy. I m almost happy.
Have answered some long due mails, some ppl whom I love dearly, I should write about this, friendship, the most beautifull thing I have learned I have in this (not so good in some aspects) life of mine.
I have made some wonderfull friendships along the way.
I have people whom I ve known since my very early teens, and we still are in deep touch, even though we did, in some cases, go such a different way in life, even though, in some other cases, the distance is enourmous, communication is not allways financially easy….
Most of my friends, whom I go to cry or laugh or share, are very, very far away.
Still, when we talk, on the phone, by mail (bust mostly on the phone, oh do I love Telediscount!!!) it seems like we have been just a street away.
It helps the fact that I did manage to travel quiet often to both Brasil & Argentina very often once I had a life in Europe. But I know that isnt the key. The key is how much we shared, how we grew up with love, fears, music, other forms of art, changing sexualities, you know, that stuff we call life.
The feeling I get when I call Marta on a sunday afternoon for me, early morning for her, and we talk and laugh or make plans, when I mailed or call her (her and not my english friends) when I have a problem coz Sarita lied in some silly thing or I m just a bit down, the feeling I get when this conversations go on, priceless.
The feeling I get when, crying of physical pain or laughing and singing around the house coz Sarita won a singing competition, or just got picked up to go to LCC, the feeling I get when in this (any of these) case the phone rings and it's Monica (who now also lives in Europe) just coz she got my name ringing in her ears or she even makes it to Paris for 5 days, even though she s been to Paris zillions of times, but just to share the time with us (my mum & Sarita), that feeling, priceless.
I have 5 other people with whom the connection is such. Five other beings who make my heart sing, who make big time life changes happen, and I should right now, talking about life changes, big time changes, talk about Claudinha.
Claudia, not so long a friendship in actuall time, but so deep the understanding, so clean and pure the love nad the tolerance that feels like a life time…. Claudia whom I have chosen to be Sarita s legal guardian, Sarita's mum if anything happens to me before time….. Claudia, our Tia Claudia , the most amazing woman I have met in the past 10 years….
As I was saying, I have 5 other people I call Friends. I also have Carina, but she requires afull chapter. 🙂
I have a couple of people I can call Friends here in London, maybe a couple or three in England, but that also requires another chapter.
I think the reason I came to write about this was that some people have turned up in my life now, I was writing about life as it is in the present, I keep coming to the conclusion that 99% of the problems I have in life as it is in the present time would be sorted with the one and only problem we all seem to share, the bloody money.
And then I get some fone calls, some mails.
And then I get these priceless feelings.
And then I know it will be allright. 🙂